parasurv's webspace@writer13 ~ $

My first stream on twitch

Date: 2023-08-31

I admit I am not good when it comes to documenting my own life. I have plenty of journals over the years, but have years of gaps between them.

I started to stream on Twitch 2 days ago. On the 29th I finally had the courage to speak into my simple mic. I am not a good speaker, and I will sometimes mumble my words, and my voice is definitely not for radio. Previously I couldn't imagine myself just talking to myself, although when I was a kid, I did that a lot, even when other people were around. I had the imaginary friends too. Tons of trouble with speaking, and to this day I don't like using devices like microphone or phones to talk to people, I prefer personal interaction. I don't think I will ever use camera when I am streaming, simple because I don't want to read stuff about my appearance. It's enough that people hear my voice, and then simple just close the tab or click on another streamer.

So, I had the courage to start my stream. I choose a fairly newish game, the recent version of Quake II. I played through it once, when I was a kid, and I really like this version too. Despite of this new experience, I streamed almost 2 and a half hours, and I tried to not be silent, and tried to look at the empty chat, once in a while. I also tried to distance myself from the voice I know I sound like via recordings. And I enjoyed the whole experience.

On the 28th, one day before, I had a plan for the night: I am going for a jog, and then I turn on stream and play some games. However the first part of jogging was hard, then I switched to walking. I was tired, and a little bit of moody. I decided I am not going to stream that evening. This decision was crucial, as I think my mood just wasn't good for any interaction. Instead I started making graphics for my about page, which I eventually finished next morning. I am glad that I talked myself out of starting it, when I was in a bad mood.

I have 6 followers so far. If you want to check out how I stumble my first week, just do it, and say hi. I usually stream on weekdays, between 15:00 and 18:00 CET (that's 3pm and 6pm for you 12 hour time system lovers).

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